The only way I have been able to overcome losing and missing my children is to remember, one simple fact, people are NOT property. Children, husbands, wives, etc, are all here to take a spiritual journey and to learn something valuable.
All too often someone gets married and projects their idealogy onto another person, well he is MY HUSBAND and he should x,y, and z. Yes, you both may have taken vows, but you are both still individuals. He doesn't belong to you any more than you belong to him. You are not a slave in your love for one another.
As much as I gave birth, love, and white light to my 5 children; I do not own them. Because I was privileged to be given the title of Mother (biological/birth/whatever you wish to call it), doesn't not mean they are things that belong to me. They are also little people who were born into this world to partake on a spiritual journey/path to learn and teach valuable lessons. I miss them everyday, but I also know they are loved and on their own individual paths.
People give each other titles and expect certain things from the titles. People use children as pawns in the war of heart wrenching divorces. Wake up, they are PEOPLE not property. Our duty to our children is our very same duty to every other human we encounter...help them on their spiritual journey, teach them, love them, and send them on their way when they are prepared/old enough.
That being said , in my mind my children needed me; after all I was their Mother. I had a fancy title and strong desire to have my own family. But when it came down to it. When it really came down to it, I did what I believe was best for them at the time. Do I believe it was best for them now? I don't know , with age comes maturity and mental clarity that I just didn't have as a teenager. Do I believe they are loved, nurtured, and cared for, absolutely. Then I have done my best. As a titled Mother, your obligation is to do what is always best for your children, even if it hurts. Even if it kills your heart inside. Even if it makes you sometimes not want to get out of the bed in the morning. Even if you hurt everyday for 13 years. Its okay. I keep telling myself...people, not property. People, not property. This is the mantra I must sing to get through the day,
